Quotes, Questions and Sayings

[Cheese = Madness]

Here is a topic to put all quotes questions and sayings that make you laugh, giggle, or think.

Just because your paranoid dosn't mean they arn't watching.

If life gives you lemons, shut the hell up, and eat your lemons

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, It's just that yours is stupid.

"When the first living thing was born, I was here, waiting. When the last
living thing dies, my job is finished. I'll put the chairs on the tables, turn out
the lights, and lock the universe behind me when I leave." Anonymous

"Oh, so mother nature needs a favor? Well, maybe she should have
thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and
poison monkeys."
-Mr. Burns, from the Simpsons (1989-)

Edit: My apologies if i steal somebody elses quote. I have a file on my computer of quotes and saying and stuff that im going from, but it dosn't include where they come from.

[Britt]

"A wise man will pick up a grain of sand and envision the universe. A stupid man will find a patch of seaweed, roll around in it and say, "HEY, I'M VINE MAN!!!"

[Bayushi Kazemi]

These are the quotes my friends and I get in our RPG sessions (the only reason I play).

Youmu) L5R.com. That's three letters.
Kazemi) Actually, one of them's a number
Youmu) Oh, dammit...
OK, the people who know what's going on are over there, so we need to fake this as best as we can until they get here.
Famous Last Words: Well, I can't die...
GM: The peasants cling to you.
Smashi: I throw them off. "No ticket, no ride."
The wounded male retreats back into the savanna.--The result of Ms. Youmu's date.
Never have I wished so strongly for the phrase "...and then the Oni attacked".
It involves the a phrase with the words "impertinence" and "clubs". You'd like it.
The Scorpion Clan likes their peasants well fed and taken care of in the same way vampires do.
Kazemi) How'd you get so drunk already?
Jiro) I was sober?
You're one of the few people I know who uses trust as a joke.
That's as dangerous as manning two Wii controllers after drinking six Throttles!
Your fond memories are based on other people's anguish.
Me) What is that mark on your side?
Rhett) Oh, that? That one's sun burn and that one's frostbite. You see, I forgot to roll over when I was tanning.
Michigan weather @_@
Kazemi) Why were you spewing out foam?
Mike) Well, I started choking on my pop, and I just thought that was REALLY funny.
Smashi) Of course. Unless you're lying to me.
Kazemi) No, I trust me.
Youmu) Stay the f*ck away from my dice or I'll bite your hand.
Sanity's a one trick pony. You only have rational thoughts. On the other hand, With insanity the sky's the limit!

[Cheese = Madness]

The Society Against The Ill Treatment Of Minors And Such has decided
that it's Goal has been generally completed and now will dedicate it's time
searching for a way to crossbreed Manta-Rays and Walruses into a Holy
Communion... And also to figure out a way to make Bread back into
Blood and Bonemeal.

Culture is like mold, people. You just leave it alone and it'll grow.

It's so hard to find a good Igor.

All for one and none for all.

I was just thinking how freaky it would be if a flaming homeless dude
came running down the subway right now.

Vikings! All the looting of the pirates, all the deadliness of the ninjas, and
a whole swath of gods seemingly forged entirely out of concentrated
badass.

only one cat was harmed in the making of this video

"[Cherry cordials] are like chocolate covered cherry crack."
--DB

[Wren]

This happened in school the girl was looking at a picture of her boyfriend
Guy: Can I see the photo?
Girl: tears her eyes away from photo OK, but you might turn gay....


My BFF talking about pregnancy:
Real men DON'T get pregnant!

One of my friends talking about radioactive waste:
And then we'll be all mutated, and we'll have three horns.... We'll be like cyclopsed, but horns and three! XD

[Nighthawke]

I am a browncoat. If you don't know what that is, check out Firefly or the movie Serenity

At any rate, these are my fave Firefly/Serenity quotes.


Inara: "What did I say to you about barging into my shuttle?"
Mal: "That it was manly and impulsive?"
Inara: "Yes, precisely. Except the exact phrase I used was 'don't'."

Jayne: "Do you know what the chain of command is here? It's the chain I go get and beat you with to show you who's in command."

Mal: "I would appreciate it if one person on this boat would not assume I'm an evil, lecherous hump."
Zoe: "No one's saying that, sir."
Wash: "Yeah, we're pretty much just giving each other significant glances and laughing incessantly."

Zoe: "Preacher, don't the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killing?"
Book: "Quite specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps."

Mal: "Oh, that was bracing! They don't like it when you shoot at them. I worked that out myself."

Zoe: "No one's gonna force you to go, Jayne. As has been stated: this job is purely speculative."
Jayne: "Good. Cause I don't know these folks and don't much care to."
Mal: "They're whores."
Jayne: "I'm in."

Wash: "Little River gets more colorful by the moment. What'll she do next?"
Zoe: "Either blow us all up or rub soup in our hair. It's a toss-up."
Wash: "I hope she does the soup thing. It's always a hoot and we don't all die from it."

Wash: (looking at a statue of Jayne): "I think they captured his essence."
Kaylee: "Looks kinda angry, don't he?"
Wash: "Yeah, kinda what I meant."

Kaylee: "Wash, tell me I'm pretty."
Wash: "Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion."
Kaylee: "Cause I'm pretty?"
Wash: "Cause you're pretty."

Mal: "Define interesting."
Wash: "Oh God oh God we're all gonna die?"
Mal: "This is the captain. We have a...little problem with our engine sequence, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then...explode."

Simon: "Oh 'one simple job, she'll be fine'!"
Mal: "She is fine! 'Cept for still bein' crazy she's the picture of health!"

River: "The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems."
Mal: (to Simon) "See, morbid and creepifying, I got no problem with, long as she does it quiet-like."

Mal: "Looks can be deceiving."
Jayne: "Not as deceiving as a lowdown, dirty... deceiver."
Mal: "Well said. Wasn't that well said, Zoe?"
Zoe: "Had a kind of poetry to it, sir."

[Cheese = Madness]

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? ...He's a mile away and you've got his shoes.

You should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest and folk-dancing.

Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said - 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me', and it worked! From there on it was sticks and stones all the way.

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Foot: A special device for finding furniture in the dark.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough."

My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the the fire brigade.

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

[Splodge Of Doom]

Youth and talent are no match for age and treachery.

From my dad's fellow engineer, Martin:
"I'm useless with wood. Whenever I try and weld it, I set it on fire."

[Wren]

My Maths Teacher:
Here's the hypotenuse.... Is anyone listening to me..... PING!!!!

[Shadowriver]

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.